What have I learned since graduation..?

Ok, so here is the deal... as of the writing of this page, I have been a graduate of the University of North Alabama for 9 months.  9 months of active, or semi-active, searching for a job.  I decided that since I have a degree in Computer Information Services that I should probably TRY to get a job concerning Computer Information Services.  However, there is ONE little problem:  There are apparently NO Computer Jobs that do not involve a laser pointer and a large drawer of cash in the Shoals Area. 

What does THAT mean?  I'll probably have to do the ONE thing that I said I was never going to do... Get a job somewhere else.  As of right now I am not willing to move out of the area, so I would be forced to drive to said job.  A job in Huntsville would be fine with me, but that amounts to ( at least ) a one hour drive twice a day five days a week.  That's at least ten hours of my precious life spent in a car in each week, 40 hours per month, 480 hours per year.  In 40 years when I retire I would have spent approximately 2.1918 years sitting in traffic... and that's only IF rush hour isn't too bad! 

Heck, I might as well get a job at a gas station, buy a used trailer in the woods, breed Chihuahuas and take up smoking!  I'd be about as well off, seeing as I'd lose about the same amount of life from the smoking as the time spent in the car...  Man, life's little ironies! 

Of course, that also means that I'd have more time alone, because there ain't no way that I'm going to get married if I go that route... however, that also means that I'd have a heck of a lot less stress in my life than I would otherwise, so maybe that would buy me four or five more years of life, so I'd be about three years in the black!  Man, this is looking pretty good already.  No nagging wife, no whiny kids, and I could pee off of front porch any time I want!  Wow, this is turning into the life I've always dreamed of having! 

Shoot... I just found a problem with that plan.  If I never get married I'd never get any, well, you know... mother-in-laws!  Dang it, yeah!  Ok, I'm gonna start taking resumes to the local Shell stations and find a cheap brand of cigarettes a.s.a.p.!  Maybe I'll go with Patriots!  Cheap, long lasting, AND they're the preferred brand of Sheffield Parks and Rec. Department employees!  

---Appended 9/9/04---

Ok, so I got a job!  Yeah, it actually happened.  I got a call one day, had an interview, and then I started a few days later.  Guess God had pity on me after I wrote this article... I finished it only two days prior to this appending, so He sure hoped right on it.  Well, pray that this job works out... looks like its gonna be a great place to work!

--Appended 1/24/07--

That's right, kids, two and one half years LATER, I've decided to add more.  Why?, you might ask... because I've finally decided that cigars is my preferred tobacco product, that this job sucks donkey, and that right now I'd give a limb if it meant that I could have a better job somewhere else that actually PAID.  Never work for lawyers, they'll suck out your soul!  Never give money to someone begging for a handout... they're not using it for gas to go to work, they're using it for crack.  Don't bother getting upset over a girl.. she's not worth it... she should be upset over YOU.  Oh, and forget about trying to keep up a friendship long-distance... you'll see him/her once a year or so, and then you'll only miss him/her more than before.